Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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