A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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