Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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