Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
