i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
