Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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