The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
No I am not eating basil off your cock
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
