who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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