this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
