The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
