Betty ford says i'm here all night
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
