I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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