Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
