your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
