We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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