yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
