im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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