well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize