So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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