I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
