So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
