Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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