New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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