dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
