okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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