five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
