Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
