i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
