Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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