The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory