just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus