singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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