i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
