We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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