K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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