I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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