just come out here and I will go home with you...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
