Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
