When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
