put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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