tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize