I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
