hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
