Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
