Me too!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
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The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
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It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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