So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
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you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
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There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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