how hairy? two words: wookie tits
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
