she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
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When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
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Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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