K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
