her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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