would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
