dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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