Where are you?
In a non slutty way
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I won't apologize to a one balled man
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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