I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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