For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
we're making bets on your personal life
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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