I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
