hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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