he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
