well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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