You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize