sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
organizing the empties. That sober.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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