the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
